


it’s of her i dream

by afrocurl



Series: distractions [5]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cancer, F/M, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-26 04:31:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1674791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afrocurl/pseuds/afrocurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time had been kind, but now it wasn't giving Erika any favors.</p>
<p>However, she took the time she had left, and used it as best she could because everything she had had since 1962 was more than she ever imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it’s of her i dream

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my **24 hours to live** square in my trope-bingo card.

She hadn't had a single cigarette since 1963; the news came as a shock anyway. Not that it was news so much as Charles’ and Hank’s far too careful scan of her body in the basement’s infirmary after she’d felt listless and tired for weeks on end. The school’s day-to-day business had suffered while she couldn’t stay awake for more than a few hours because no one wanted to fumble with her years of hard work. She had meant to work with someone else - easing into a transition - as she and Charles were moving towards a quiet retirement for years, despite only being in their early fifties.

Cancer. An ugly word. An ugly thing that had taken over her body, that was even now destroying it from the inside. 

Charles had pleaded that there were treatments available - those that could remove it and stop it - but the very idea had rung hollow to her.

“I have lived a life I never expected because of you. Let nature take its course,” she said, feeling a bone-deep exhaustion taking over as the words left her mouth. Charles looked and felt as if she had kicked him.

_Let’s just live until I cann’t._ She couldn’t vocalize that sentiment, her own mind too scared to admit what she objectively knew.

-

The news permeated through the school, and nearly every student had written her a “Get Well Soon” card. She appreciated that they took the time to wish her well, but couldn't find any comfort in the well-meant words.

“What’s wrong?” Charles asked, working out of his jacket and tie as the last card landed on the duvet.

“I think I’d like to walk the grounds tonight.” They hadn’t started to follow what she’d asked for - to live each day until she couldn’t - but with so much love coming through the hundreds of cards, it felt right.

They walked, slowly but surely, and talked. It had been so many years since their lives hadn’t been focused on the school or Lorna, but with their daughter off in college, it was peaceful. If this was her last day, it would be a good one. 

Arm in arm with the man who changed her life. Made her a life, if she was honest.

-

That walk with Charles was not her last day.

Neither was the day that Lorna came home for her summer vacation.

“Mama, you’re so-” Lorna started once she walked into the bedroom of the cottage that had become her new - final - home.

“I know,” was all she could say. Lorna’s face dropped at that.

“You won’t do what Dad and Hank said could work.”

“ _Might_ work. No. I would rather spend time with you. What did you want to do today?” It was a good day - so far - and she smiled brightly at her daughter.

“Will you braid my hair?” It was asked as if Lorna thought it immature.

“I haven’t done that in years, but yes.” Lorna’s hair had turned a vivid verdant shade and while it had been difficult to handle the waves as a young mother, it was easier now. 

“That didn’t take nearly as long as it used to. What do you want to do now?” she asked, afterwards, when Lorna’s hair lay in two neat French braids that highlighted the varying shades of her daughter’s hair. Lorna said something, though the specifics mattered littled; this was a time to be with Lorna one-on-one, as they hadn’t done in years.

-

Days like the one with Lorna grew to be the norm. Pupils cut classes to come and sit with her. To talk. To wander through town as if nothing was wrong.

But everyone knew something was wrong. She knew it as well. People would stop by, and she would spend hours with them, almost as many as she did with Charles. No one complained, though, because they knew Erika wanted it this way.

She wanted to live until it was impossible.

But the impossible loomed over her, and it stalked closer and closer with each passing hour.

-

She had never believed in destiny. It was a concept that meant little to a scared girl who survived the camps thanks to her affinity for metal. She didn’t believe in it, but she understood it more one morning.

She still dreamed of that little girl who had survived. That scared skinny girl who had suffered. She dreamed of a woman who hunted those who had maimed her. She dreamed of the man who saved her life, who changed her life.

Charles tried to quiet the dreams, but she wanted to relive them. Each of them special in a way she couldn’t articulate.

She wanted to know that that small girl had turned into who she was: a wife, a mother, a friend, a businesswoman.

She had travelled the world, and she had seen so much.

And now it was time for everything to end.

“It’s time,” she said as she felt Charles’ hand squeeze hers.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to **ninemoons42** for the beta, and at this point all mistakes are my own.


End file.
